It’s really really uncool that you think I’m this beautiful, smart girl who writes so well but you haven’t ever thought to maybe, yunno, reach out and tell me??? Do you have any idea how happy that would make me feel? Of course, you don’t. That’s why you haven’t done it. 🤐😐
I feel the world would be a much better place if people genuinely complimented people when the need for it arises. And it’s not just to make the person feel better, there’s an even more “sensible” reason than that.
I’ll illustrate with a story – my story.
When I was little, I don’t remember exactly how old, I entered the same trousers (trouble) with my daddy. I don’t remember what it was but I misplaced something that belonged to me and needed urgent replacement so I wouldn’t get punished at school the next day. So we were having a scolding session which none of us was enjoying. 🙄
But just before he dismissed me from his presence, he said, “I really don’t know when you became like this. You used to be very careful with your belongings.“
I was shocked. And for a number of reasons, I’ll tell you why:
- I wasn’t just careful, I was overprotective of anything that belonged to me. I never let anyone touch my stuff without permission and even when anyone asked for something that belonged to me, I would go retrieve it myself.
My mini-collection of books (my most prized possession!) had “Favour’s Library, DO NOT TOUCH!” in all caps and a lot more exclamation marks. Yes, it was that deep. 🙈
But it was something my siblings teased me about and even though I did not exactly care, I certainly did not think what I was exhibiting was something of a virtue to my folks. They never told me. I’m like I just don’t want y’all sticky fingers on my stuff! 😂
- Secondly, I had no idea my parents even noticed. I mean, my dad in particular always praised the fact that I was constantly glued to my books so if he had noticed this as well, he’d have said something, right?
I pondered about this but it didn’t make sense to me. Finally, I concluded that my daddy probably forgot to tell me because he was usually quite loud with his praises of his children. Always. But his forgetfulness stressed me.
If my dad had praised or complimented my ability to literally keep my sh*t together, I’m quite sure I’d never have let my guard down or considered being careless at any point. I’d have been aware that hey, someone’s watching!
As a matter of fact, anytime I’m tempted to act in a manner that will consequently lead to me being seen as a careless person, I remember this incident with my father and adjust.
People’s compliments or praises of you somehow keeps you in check. It also makes you aware – if you weren’t – that you even possess such a quality. You want to hit the snooze on your alarm clock but you remember that Tina loudly complimented you for always being punctual to your club meetings – so you get up. Now you must act in a manner that is consistent with that compliment.
It doesn’t just make you feel good, it somehow keeps you accountable too. So if you see someone that looks good, tells them, it’ll encourage them to dress even better the next day. If you see someone that exhibits some sort of uniqueness, tell them, so they recognize it and act accordingly.
If you see it, say it!
Until next time, I remain your favourite Wolf. 🐺✨
Stay happy, stay bad.
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